just thoughts

not with your back, but with your face against the wall...not a strange position for a submissive woman... standing on your toes... that can be fun for a while, but not to long... I found a very wise quote today....

"From the sublime to the ridiculous is but a step"

Napoleon

we always put high demands on ourselves... sometimes even higher then those of the dominant partners in our life... beginning of this year I started decluttering... Elle had taught me when Guitarman and I were there... and I started with what I could touch... stuff in the livingroom, bedroom... later even a part of my library went... and most of the stuff in the souterrain... including the massage table which went to Hans together with a lot of other 'stuff'... decluttering emotions and memories has been much harder... but I am beginning to think that I managed to start decluttering those as well... I had a long talk with RB which did help... and with someone even further back in my past... we are motivated by people close to us, people we care about and want them to care about us... sometimes this makes us act according their ideas and wishes even more then our own ideas... Guitarman always tells me that he wants me to say what I think is good for us, for him and me... he wants me to do things because they make me happy.. now most what makes him happy does make me happy to... we've been living together for more then 360 days already... yep, almost a year... (and won't tell the exact date.. grin)... and though it wasn't always easy it's been a great year... I must admit I had to adjust... I was used to doing what I wanted most of my life... and being in a D/s did influence that a bit, but now I know what's the difference in having someone in your life fulltime. And what it means to have someone who makes clear what he expects from his partner... I never had that before...

in the past I sometimes cared to much what others thought about me... about us... and looking back I think I sometimes took this to far... I got hurt because I let people hurt me... which made taking others opinions into account so much was taking it a step to far... so yep, it sometimes was ridiculous... I am decluttering... so getting rid of all those emotions and memories... concentrating on the positive things... meeting little girl and her hubby this weekend... phonecalls with Elle, mailing with other friends, msn chats... and finding the way back to friends I thought I had lost... and then ofcourse every day life which is great... work which is going fine... and my Love and family... when I look back at all that has happened it is much more positive then negative...

no back or face against the wall... but embracing the world... opening up to all the good things happening...

Comments

[Geplaatst door: KayLynn]

Thank you so much for this post lessa. It is a wonderful time for me to face many things, material and otherwise. hugs, KayLynn

[Geplaatst door: Lessa]

KayLynn, you are ever so welcome... guess writing this did help me declutter a bit again... space can only be taken once... and were there is negativity there is less room for positivity.. so getting rid of all the negative stuff... a colleague recently told me I am smiling so much more this last year... guess she's right... and it does feel great...

hugs, Lessa

[Geplaatst door: M:e]

I'm glad you've found decluttering to as positive a process as I thought you would sweety. I think sometimes we hold onto certain things, even the negatives, as some kind of security blanket. When we realise we don't need them it becomes easier to let go.

love and hugs xxx

[Geplaatst door: Paul]

Lessa, I think for me and I believe for many others, negative memories are the hardest things to let go.
An excellent post.
Love, warm hugs and a big kiss,
Paul.

[Geplaatst door: Ronnie]

That was a lovely post Lessa.

Decluttering has certainly helped you and It's wonderful you are so happy.

Love.
Ronnie
xx

[Geplaatst door: Leo]

Wait for me......

[Geplaatst door: Lessa]

my sweet M:e.. you've really set me on the right track with this.. it's been really good for me... out of the negative spiral.. no more security blankets... only the blanket at our bed at night... grin... lots of love...

Paul, my mind has been processing so may things the last months... in the beginning decluttering was more a touchable thing... getting rid of all kinds of stuff... but when I started the emotional decluttering, then things really did change... love, warm hugs and a big kiss...

Ronnie sweety, yes it has helped a lot... I think Elle should start a decluttering class... I am not the only one who needs/needed this... xxxxxxxx

Leo, jij wordt ook niet gedecluttered hoor.. echt niet..

[Geplaatst door: Morgaine]

hé hé AT LAST! ;-)

you go girl en ik ben al lang geleden begonnen met wat jij hier nu zo prachtig optikt allemaal.

Letting go, één van de moeilijkste dingen om te doen, maar... je bent en blijft welkom, whatever or why :-))

You got my mail.

Als je nog dieper en meer wil loslaten.

XXX

[Geplaatst door: Lessa]

grin Morgaine... mensen hebben gewoon tijd nodig... je kunt niemand in een bepaalde richting duwen, zeker niet als die niet goed voor hem of haar is... ooit komt dat eruit..

ik heb geluk met de mensen om me heen, mijn Lief, familie, vrienden als Elle en ga zo maar door...

heel fijn weekeind... wij gaan samen genieten hier... knufffffffffff

[Geplaatst door: Morgaine]

@Lessa, dat weet ik ook wel ;-) Maar het is ook best frustrerend soms, als je 'het ziet' voor een ander ;-) Je snapt me wel en dan.. tsjah, hahaha

Ik weet hoe moeilijk het is en ik leer dus ook telkens opnieuw weer los te laten, zelfs frustratie omdat je iemand die je helpt eigenlijk alles al op een presenteerblaadje geeft. Wat vriendinnen betreft? Ik heb er nog nooit in mijn leven zoveel tegelijk gehad, hahahaha Goed gevoel is dat!

Geniet lekker van het weekend!

XXX

[Geplaatst door: Lessa]

yep meissie, ik snap het wel... enne, ben er nu pas achter dat het veel lekkerder voelt om boosheid los te laten dan het een plek te geven... dat leuke herinneringen lang niet zoveel plek innemen als slechte... en die laatste maar beter weggegooid kunnen worden en iig de niet zo goede gevoelens die erbij horen... ach ja...

allerlei oude vrienden komen ook weer terug... naast allerlei nieuwe mensen, dus dat is leuk...

fijn weekeind ook, xxx

[Geplaatst door: Genot]

Slechts gedachten voor mij is het gelukkig werkelijkheid. Heerlijk gewoon.

Less fijn weekend jullie en genietse en dat zal wel lukken bij jullie xxx

[Geplaatst door: Lessa]

Genot... dankjewel... was een vreemd weekeind, maar vooral zaterdagmiddag hebben we erg genoten...

liefs, Lessa

[Geplaatst door: clare]

kussssssssssss mijn lieve zussie....

getting rid of old memories can be a wonderful thing, and it certainly seems to have made a huge difference to you, gorgeous girl.

So glad that you're so happy now, few deserve it more than you.

xxxxxxx

[Geplaatst door: Lessa]

kusssssssssss mijn zusje lief ook :-)

your dutch is improving still, we can pick up the classes.. *winks*...

and yes, getting rid of old memories has made a huge difference... thinking of that old song.. I can see clearly now... and you deserve it just as much...

xxxxxxxxxx